I have a dream to write a book someday. I want it to be a book filled with love and beauty. I watched The Holiday the other night (if you haven’t seen it yet, what are you doing with your life? Just kidding, I’m sure you’re lovely, whoever you are), and towards the end of the movie Miles composes a melody for Iris and tells her he “used only the good notes.” I think I would make my book filled with only the good words.
To tell you the truth, I want it to be a book about meeting my soulmate. About our love, young though it may be, codependent though it may be. Not codependent in an unhealthy sense, but in the sense that we are our best selves when we are together, and rely equally upon one another. But every time I think about writing it, my mind fills with the judgmental thoughts that may follow.
As the founder of a female empowerment blog, I feel the need to speak only about the strength that comes from within our incredibly capable, wonderfully intelligent female selves. And this is certainly worth blogging about. Women are amazing! As females, there is no limit to the things we can accomplish. (If you need proof of this, just check out the countless talented women we’ve interviewed.) But often this strong independence is falsely equated with the belief that because we CAN do it alone, we SHOULD. In turn, this perpetuates a stigma against females who choose not to.
But often this strong independence is falsely equated with the belief that because we CAN do it alone, we SHOULD.
This way of thinking is flawed, for multiple reasons. Feminists who have a dynamic of equally reciprocated dependency on their soulmate/partner/person/baby (where my Dirty Dancing fans at?), etc… are no less fierce than their single feminist counterparts. Relying on someone is a very vulnerable thing, and requires a strength of its own.
The fact of the matter is, feminism has changed over the years. Believe it or not, we are currently in the fourth wave of it, and have been since 2012, (some would even push that back to 2008). Mary Wollstonecraft, bless her soul, spoke out against the treatment of women in A Vindication of the Rights of Women in 1792. As a true pioneer of women’s rights (though Christine de Pizan, Modesta di Pozzo di Forzi, Anne Bradstreet and others came before her), she is deserving of the utmost respect. But I have a hunch that if everyone was aware of the details of her feminist ideology, they would be surprised.
The fact of the matter is, feminism has changed over the years. Believe it or not, we are currently in the fourth wave of it…
Take this as an example: “Would not this simple elegance of sincerity be a chaste homage paid to domestic affections, far surpassing the meretricious compliments that shine with false lustre in the heartless intercourse of fashionable life? But, till more understanding preponderate in society, there will ever be a want of heart and taste, and the harlot’s rouge will supply the place of that celestial suffusion which only virtuous affections can give to the face.” All of those words basically amount to this: Wollstonecraft thought women who cared about rouge (makeup) and fashion contributed nothing more than heartless, false luster, devoid of virtue to the world. Thus, the seed from which the stereotype that all feminists are ugly and manly is planted.
Thus, the seed from which the stereotype that all feminists are ugly and manly is planted.
Feminists today (aka 4th wavers) are recognized for their use of the internet and social media in voicing the importance of intersectionality: how enfranchisement, equality, and empowerment are affected by things like race, religion, class, ability, etc. It seems that as feminism has evolved, emphasis on inclusivity has increased. Whether you wear makeup or prefer to be bare-faced, whether you’re Asian, Black, Latinx, or White, whether you’re Buddhist, Jewish, Christian, or Muslim, 4th wave feminists emphasize your WORTH as a WOMAN, and your right to do with that power what you choose.
It seems that as feminism has evolved, emphasis on inclusivity has increased.
So, yes, you can be a feminist and wear lip gloss. Yes, you can be a feminist and come from a Christian background. And yes, you can even be a feminist and rely on your significant other. None of these things make you any less than the powerful female you are. As women, we should support all women, and that means protecting their right to unapologetically be the unique individual they are.
As women, we should support all women, and that means protecting their right to unapologetically be the unique individual they are.
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